In the middle of a midnight shower, songs came to mind from out of nowhere. I said songs, but they were just some unintelligible gurgles of sounds imitating songs. Perhaps this is the most ancient of form songs have had. Perhaps this is the sound of songs predating any tuned instrument of any sort, be it strings or percussion in nature. Perhaps this is the synth of the millennia back. Perhaps.
And in this jumble of sound and blurring effect of the shower hitting my head, enveloping my ears in a calming rush of dripping water kept at warm to counter the drizzled night-cold, a few songs came to mind. Real songs. And with them, faces of people both distant and near, alive and deceased, that somehow in my mind are connected to those songs. Most are in an instant. A spark of those songs, usually first time listening to it, flashes a person through my mind. Some for obvious reasons. Others, well, maybe just a fleeting feeling. But all are stuck in my head right now.
First came a song I had forgotten its name, which after getting out of the shower, was reminded by the person who that song reminds me of (is this what it means by coming full circle?), Jasper, is entitled Lagu Untukmu by the now-not-the-same-as-then Meet Uncle Hussain. The song, although literally means ‘A Song for You’, is far off from the romantic nuance it gives off. It is a song full of rage, and it came out at the exact moment Jasper was full of it: rage. Then came Cat Stevens’ Father and Son, reminding me of my own father, not in relation to me but rather to his own father.
The next in line was Hawthorne Heights’ Decembers, reminding me of Sim, a dear friend of mine, now apart by space, as was him and the girl he once dated, loved, and because he felt was out of his league, left her because he can’t bear the idea of sparkly her in a long distance relationship with dim him. This was the song that he thought encompasses what he felt back then, and a fragment of it still lingers on his present character. Then at last came the latest addition to my ever growing catalogue of songs reminding me of people. Haruhi’s Trust me, I am fine reminds me of another dear friend Keon, which in this case I don’t really know how this song got stuck onto her. I think it was a gut feeling. It’s quite a new song, it doesn’t even register on Youtube. Or perhaps because there are dozens, if not hundreds of ‘Trust me, I’m a-” videos sprawling all over Youtube, I can’t seem to find the one for this song.
At the end of the night, as I lay on my bed, I thought to myself. What’s my song in other people’s heads? Or is there even a song people relate me to? For now, I can’t relate myself to any. I hope it’s a calming tune, or some post-rock. Post-rocks are nice. They usually don’t come with any lyrics.
Yeah, I’d really like that.
10th January 2018