Kelabu


Dunia kelabu,

Hujan bertimpa lalu,

Hati kaku,

Menunggu esok pengadilan.

.

Hati kelabu,

Mohon jangan dikelam lagi,

Tambah sayu,

Gelagat jelama pentingkan diri.

5.07pm

11 November 2018

I was supposed to do other things, but alas


Learning how to walk again,

From shambles of a broken self,

Totter past the plains of life,

Plain it may I thought of last,

The echoing confidence of starting fresh,

And rumbling of dreams gone passing by,

And excitement of flaws and minute detail,

And encouragement of self to be better yet.

 

My nights and days are tumbling by,

My life awash in flooding emotions,

My will a flicker in deep cold nights,

My devotion assumed a backseat stance.

 

I’d like to talk more, walk more, run more, but not from life,

I’d like to listen more, see more, to read and write,

I’d like to finish masterpieces dreamed all my life,

And set up a cafe with recipes thought overnight.

 

I’d like my imagination running rampant around,

I’d like my hands transcribing words from mind,

I want to fly to islands around the globe,

Then come back to my cozy, humble abode.

 

But alas, I am here, doing nothing profound.

 

1.09 am

25th September 2018

Teratak


Kerdip, mengerdip matamu lekat,

Empat suku pagi, jiwamu sarat

.

Minda melayar bahtera kesunyian,

Angkuhnya ego minta diutamakan,

Nafsu melara mengaut segalanya,

Angan tergantung tanpa sudahnya

.

Sisipkan impi dalam perbuatanmu,

Empat ayat lagi, empat berlalu,

Menulislah dikau walau tak mampu,

Usah dihirau berat beban bahu,

Agar cerita ini kan ke penghujungnya,

Niatkan saja, biar berlabuh di dalam hati,

Yakinkan saja, biar bertaut di hujung jemari,

Akan pena menitiskan dakwat pada kertas suci

.

Menaiplah dikau, biar tak sempurna,

Enggani tamak hati yang memilih,

Nukilkan terus tanpa was dan prasangka,

Gagahkan jiwa bergaduh dengan minda,

Hilangkan “nanti” bibit prokrastinasi,

Ingkari rasa kosong yang membenci,

Lalu menapaklah dikau mencari erti,

Aksara biar berpusing, berpuing, berputing beliung,

Nun di situ mungkin ketemu damai,

Gemersik berbisik teratak hati yang permai.

 

4.24 am

11 Ogos 2018

Pendosa Kelana


Pendosa kelana,

Minta jangan disalaherti,

“Ini semua perjuangan peribadi”,

“Ini atas nama hak asasi”,

“Ini semua masa depan kita”,

Ini semua kata dustanya.

 

Pendusta kelana,

Menjaja cerita tak perlu mengembara,

Cukup sekadar melayar arus maya,

Cukup sekadar beri retorik dan falasi,

Cukup punya niat dan juga peminat.

 

Peminat kelana,

Minatnya berlari dari satu ke satu,

Apa yang terbaru di FB dan IG dia buru,

Api memercik semboyan bertalu,

Dan dia ingin di situ di tengah gerakan baru.

 

Pembenar kelana,

Tak punya peminat,

Tak punya tempat,

Dihindik ditindas,

Diracik tempias,

Digomoli peminat yang ‘in’,

Diseteru pendusta yang ‘on’,

Diketawa pendosa yang memimpin,

Dilupa kita yang sekadar menjeling.

 

7.39pm

13 Julai 2018

But not for me


Those eyes, those laughter,

That sweet, sweet smile.

 

The merry thoughts together,

Those feel good vibes.

 

The reasons for rain inside your heart,

Are the same for what’s causing mine.

 

The melodies you sang in tune to them,

And the dance you flutter to their grace and whim.

 

It was never meant for me,

It was never meant for me.

 

And so we chase those elusive tails,

In a circle of misses and regrets,

Till the end, happiness we did not find,

We are alone,

You and I,

We are alone.

 

And so we chase those elusive tails,

I hope your eyes turn towards me

like how you hope his turn to you,

Till the end, I pray happiness will find itself to you,

Though not for me,

You and I,

Perhaps may never be.

 

Even if it’s not for me,

I pray that you will be happy.

6.20 am

28th May 2018