He throws a glance towards the sea. The sea. Always beautiful. Always mesmerizing. Though it can be rough at times, it still remains a vital part of everyone’s life.
Or at least, a vital part of his life.
The south-eastern breeze swept by, caressing his face gently. He sighs at the side of an empty coastline.
A year earlier, he came here with a bundle of hopes and dreams. He had always loved the sea and its vastness, its pure blue colour, its little waves which raced to the beach in harmony with the salt-smelling breeze. So, he made his mind to build a chalet, a resting place for people who feel the same way as him towards the sea. Back then, he was so sure that this chalet of his would gain recognition from tourists and city-escapers, and he’ll have one hell of a fun ride entertaining people from near and far.
But what he hoped is not what it turned out to be. No one came to his place. Well, if there are occasional visitors, he’d be happy, but this time, no one really came. Not a single person came to admire the vastness of the sea from his place. He became depressed. He became lonely. He thought that no one in the world felt the same way like he does towards the sea. How come not even a single person came? Well, its not like he aimed to be a big shot or anything like that. He just wants to feel that his efforts are appreciated.
Then, suddenly, out of the blue, his cell phone rang. A text message. He flips open his cell phone, only to find a message from his own number.
-To me in a year’s time. Don’t give up. Persevere through the challenges and you’ll come out on top of the game.
Huh, what the heck, he thought to his self. How come he receives a phony looking message originated from his own number? Must’ve been someone’s prank, he guessed. So, he typed a reply.
-To me a year before. Stop your nonsense. It is your fault that I’m feeling pretty bad right now. If only you know how to give up back then, I wouldn’t have to endure this crappy feeling of not being appreciated.
Then he pressed the send button, smiling to himself. What am I doing? I’m wasting my time doing something useless like this, he thought to himself. I should’ve had listen to dad’s advice and go to university like he ought me to do, like everyone normal ought to do. Yet, I’ve been stubborn all this time, going on about money is not important in life and what truly is important to us humans is satisfaction. Well, where’s my satisfaction now? Tch. I’m wasting my time complaining to myself here.
Then, in a single beep, a text message entered his cell phone. He looks at the screen. It’s his own number. A reply to his reply earlier. He opens the message.
-To me in a year’s time. Isn’t it your motto to pursue happiness, to pursue your own dreams at all cost? So why are you nagging about it right now? That’s why I told you to persevere. That’s the meaning of perseverance.
He smirk towards those words, then texted a reply.
-Easy for you to say, me a year before. You haven’t reached this time yet. You can say anything you want. That is your foolish way of life that’s gotten me into this mess right now. If only you can see that dreams are meant to remain as dreams, nothing more, I wouldn’t have suffered the consequences of your naivety.
Send! Then he placed his cell phone by his side. He looks on towards the sea, towards the setting sun, towards the transparent orange rays of light engulfing the humongous clouds framing the horizon. If only he had been able to see that dreams are meant to be just that; dreams. Nothing more, nothing less. He wouldn’t have been stuck out here doing nothing, getting nothing, feeling nothing but vain. But alas, all’s too late. Remorse is but a word and it can’t change the situation.
Then his phone shakes the planks of the veranda. A reply from the past had arrived.
-Easier for you who just ignore agony and accumulate more agony. You don’t know how worried I am about you, me a year after. You’re not burdened with worrying the future because you are living my future. That’s why I urge you to stand strong, even against the treacherous currents. Because if you can’t do it, it means I can’t either.
Wow, this past sure does know his words, he thought. Still, he can’t fight feeling infuriated by his words. You truly don’t know anything, he shouts in his heart.
But, looking back at those words of the past him sure does bring back memories. He was like that before. The optimist. The perfectionist. The dream pursuer. What happened? He thought to himself. What happened in this past year? Why had he become complacent? What’s his real dream that he wanted to achieve back when he opened this chalet? He had lost purpose. No, it’s more like he had forgotten them. Forgotten, lost in the fragments of being unsatisfied with his own self.
Suddenly, the past sent another message. He looks at his phone, which is still in his hands.
-Move forward! Express yourself! Isn’t the point of pursuing your dreams to express yourself to the world, to your father, to her, whom you longed so much? If you stop now, all is lost, all will be wasted, and it’ll take time to build yourself up for another go. So, go!
That instant, he remembered something. The girl whom he had known so long, whom he had longed so much. She was the reason of the chalet, because she said she likes the sea so much, she wished that she could stay at a secluded chalet beside the ever tranquilizing azure plane of water for once. He had remembered his reason, his purpose!
He stands up, then walks down the stairs, down to the sandy beach. He walks towards the beating waves, a smile on his face. Then, tears come rolling down his cheeks. Tears of joy and also tears of remorse. All this time he wasted worrying himself but didn’t try to solve his problem. He tried to set fire on rain. A worthless act of trying to ease one’s self by hurting one’s self more.
As he reaches the water line, feet drenched in salt water, he flips open his cell phone and types a reply. A reply for the him a year before.
He woke up. The sun was just about to show its cheerful bright face. The morning dew still lingers on the grass in the lawn. And fresh fog still envelops the morning with its sweet cold blanket of mist.
He had a weird dream. A dream where he had pursued his dream and succumbed to the challenges he had faced. What a dream! Not to mention dreaming that kind of thing on the first day of a new job. He quitted his office job to join a civil organization that promotes love and care for nature, especially beaches and rivers. Maybe that dream was a warning for the things to come. A bad omen. A sign of defeat before even starting.
Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He flips open his phone, only to find a reminder set off on alarm. He opens the reminder. Reading the words on the little screen, he smiled towards himself. Past, you sure are one hell of a thoughtful guy.
[To me in a year’s time. Don’t give up to the challenge when pursuing your dreams. Persevere when rough times come rolling over you. Remember that the whole world conspires with the elements to let you reach your goal when you’re pursuing your destiny, but it won’t be an easy ride through. Don’t let all the what if’s, maybe’s and if only’s drag you down. Do the best that you can in your present, cause that’s more important than the future and also the past. Good luck in life. From you a year before. 06.06, 29/06/2009]
I’ll do my best in this present, me a year before. Don’t you worry. I promise
23rd June 2011