The Man Who Taught Me How To Die – Wonderland Under The Bridge


1st Death – Wonderland Under The Bridge

She walked along the riverbank, staring at the neon lights that illuminate her path. Her head has been all fuzzy and she can’t stop thinking, though she didn’t have any more strength to think about anything at all. Every inch of her body has taken the toll of her deep thinking. She still can’t swallow reality as it is. At her best state of thinking, who would’ve known that it’ll come to an end. Dad, looking ever so nice. Mom, who always had that sweet smile on her face. And herself, always cheerful around those two.  The portrait of a perfect family, shattered in one night. More like in an hour of honesty and fights and drama. Who would’ve known that the perfect couple everyone has talked about, that everyone had admired and even envied, is actually not a couple anymore for a long time. Who would’ve thought that each of them was cheating behind each other’s backs? Who would’ve guessed?

At least, she didn’t. And that’s what’s making it harder on her. All the memories of fun and laughter these recent years, the family holidays, the weekend strolls at the beach, are not as true and sincere as she thought it had been. And when she recall the moments spent together, the laughter, the smiles, the perfect happy family, tears started to roll down her cheek. She tried to hold them back but she just couldn’t. Well, who would’ve?

She kept on walking the riverbank, passing the houses of many, hearing them laughing about as they had just finish dinner, or so she thought. Normally, she’d be at the dining table with mom and dad right now, helping about, clearing the table and doing the dishes while hearing romantic stories of her parents, about how they came to be. Then they’ll laugh at those stories, stating how foolish and embarrassing the experience was. Now she’ll be the only one laughing a sad and pretentious laugh. Laughing at reality. Laughing at how irony had caught up to them.

Her steps take her to the bridge crossing the river. One of many that crosses the river at various points. Just like reality. There’s always one crossing path with your life, she thought to herself. She stands over the ledge of the bridge, looking at the darkness below. The river looked so still from high above. Bleak. Black. Cold. Yet in her unstable state of mind, the black waters below seem so fitting, so like where she wanted to be. She took a deep breath, and then sighed. Then took another breath, and sighed again. The actions repeat another few times. She closed her eyes for a moment. Then, she opens them, a determined look blaze in its reflection. She made up her mind. This life is not worth living. At least, not anymore. She climbs the ledge, a silent monologue countdown starts within her. 10, 9, 8. Tonight, the lies will end. Yes, tonight, she’ll end the farce herself, with her own life, literally. 7, 6, 5. No more pretence. No more hypocrisy. She’s done with both, and she’s had enough. 4, 3, 2. Goodbye life. Least if I don’t die from this fall, I’ll die from drowning. 1….

-Tonight the rain comes for another rainbow tomorrow~~~

Her countdown stopped. So does her urge to jump. Someone is here. But where? She can’t see anyone around. So where did the voice came from?

-And I’ll get rid of this useless sorrow~~~

Again, there’s that voice! Singing! But where from?

-‘Cause I won’t let life get the best of me~~~

It’s from under the bridge! She jumped down to the pavement, then run towards the riverbank. Then she races down the slope, trying to see if there’s someone, anyone down there.

-‘Cause I’ll live my dreams and become who I want to be~~~

In front of her, right under the bridge, is a man, maybe in his forties, wearing a bandana on his head and holding a bongo between his legs. He looks up towards her who is panting from the rush down the slope. Then he smiles towards her.

-Hello, young lady! Welcome to wonderland!

….To be continued….

9.50 pm

10th December 2010

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The Man Who Taught Me How To Die – Wonderland Under The Bridge

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